You may or may not have heard of a little dating app call Tinder. If you’re male, then you probably have. The truth is, it’s no little dating app at all… the world has been taken over by it. Quite seriously, the projection of total worldwide users for this year is 50 million people.
That’s more than double the population of Australia.
So, 50 million people is probably an indication that there’s a whole lot of people relying on this app for their romantic and sexual experiences… particularly in the current climate of meeting people online. Also, it’s free – so that’s one thing it’s got over the flood of all the other apps and websites out there.
Just to start, here’s a little backgrounding information in case you don’t know how Tinder works. You sign in to your downloaded Tinder app, using the data from your Facebook profile. It simply takes your first name, birth date, interests and has access to all your photos. That’s all; no sign up fee, no rubbish. You choose a few photos, write a little bio and then you’re off – swiping through the profiles of your selected criteria (gender, age and distance), a right swipe for a like and a left swipe for a dislike. If you and another user swipe right on each other, you’re then able to delve in to conversation – known as a match.
Sounds pretty simple, no?
But here’s the tricky part and as mentioned above, if you’re male you’ve probably heard of Tinder (in fact you’re probably logged in right now, swiping your little heart away)… and given you’re heterosexual for the sake of this article; you’ve probably been wondering why you aren’t getting any matches and exactly how many other men are on the app just like you. Well, the statistics are in and if you are indeed a straight male, you’re already off to a bad start.
The simple stat is that 63 percent of Tinder users are male (a total of 31.5 million bags of testosterone swiping worldwide)… which obviously leaves just 37 percent of total female users. That’s the generic number calculated for all dating websites/apps total user ship. This is unfortunately backed up a PEW Research Centre study in the US, which found 13 percent of American males are on Tinder and only 9 percent of American females. So in essence, your chances are already slim in terms of finding matches.
So, this is where it gets really slim. Men on tinder seem to be able to see what they want pretty easily… it’s safe to say just from the photos alone. Tinder’s own studies prove this, with a whopping stat that men swipe right nearly 50 percent of the time! You have a lot of competition out there, bucko. Yes, that means the pretty girl you’re trying to talk to probably has hundreds of other men trying to talk to her at the same time. This really doesn’t get any easier when the same study says that women only swipe 14 percent of the time. Of course, maybe this seems harsh or cruel, maybe this is making you sad or maybe you want to delete your Tinder app and forget you ever tried. But suck it up princess; this 14 percent is measured with good reason.
Again, if you’re confused as to why you’re not getting any matches or perhaps why the women you’re messaging aren’t responding… you’re doing it all wrong. Here’s how to stay in front of the pack.
Firstly, before you even start talking to the girl… pick some appropriate photos. Perhaps photos you think are attractive are the best way to start. So that doesn’t mean countless photos of you holding dead fish on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Unless showing women how great your hunting skills are is your thing, those photos are most certainly unattractive. Find some photos of yourself where you’re smiling, some wearing your finest threads and group photos aren’t bad either (it shows you’re not a psycho and people actually like being around you). Next, your bio… Don’t write anything generic; write a short piece that leaves something up to the imagination. If you can’t think of anything to say, your best bet is to just leave it blank… but a bio is good because it can be a conversation opener.
Say you’ve got yourself a match now. We’re going to take some of online broadcasters Simple Pickup’s advice on how to strike up conversation. These guys are reputable… they have a huge following on their blog and YouTube channel… simply because they speak the truth. They explain that “the majority of messages women receive are simply boring as shit”. By this they mean messages like ‘hey’, ‘hi how are you’, ‘how’s your week going?’
“Who wants to respond to that? These lines may work in person but you’re going to need to try something different.” Indeed you are going to need something different, because that’s what all the other men are saying. You want to stay ahead of the pack, right? Be creative, read their bio, incorporate their interests into your opening line… don’t be generic. It’s also important not to pester them if they don’t answer straight away… don’t be Mr Desperado. An Indiana University study revealed that 72 percent of the time you’ll get a woman’s attention with your looks and 17 percent of the time with a clever opening. Not bad odds.
“Don’t filter yourself, subtle hints of sexuality are good.” So that means, being a little sexual is fine… but don’t overdo it because then you’ll come off as the dreaded ‘creepy guy’. Unsolicited nudes are NOT a good idea. And asking a woman if she wants to have sex with you straight off the bat will get you nowhere, period. If you’re going to objectify women like that, buy yourself a flesh-light and give up. Show your natural charm and don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a woman in person, that’s the rule.
“Slowly transition in to getting her phone number”. Given that you’re now talking to her like a normal human being and the conversation is going well… getting her phone number will “make you real in her mind, rather than that guy from Tinder”. If you manage to do this, then you’ve used Tinder successfully and the rest is up to the way you present yourself in real life.
If you’re doing all the things you’ve been told not to do, the truth is women are either repulsed by you or are laughing at your stupidity. Sorry to break it to you.
Laura Nowak, from Toronto, recently set up her own Instagram account (@feministontinder) where she uploaded screenshots of her Tinder conversations with feminism being the hot topic of discussion. The messages she received in response from men were either completely ignorant or misogynistic. Unfortunately her account was shut down by Instagram as a breach of guidelines. This stirred a great deal of media attention and uproar from the public…
Nowak explained that most of the messages she receives, have come from men with a complete lack of self-awareness and don’t seem to understand that casual sex and respect can co-exist. So in reality, if you’re making jerk off comments… they aren’t being received well by the women you’re trying to attract. In fact it’s making them strongly dislike you and in effect all the other respectable men and women out there are barracking for your public shaming.
Nowak also said about her posts that women shouldn’t have to settle for being objectified and that consent and respect should be necessary in our online conversations. It would be rather rational to say that Nowak speaks on behalf of almost all the women who use Tinder and perhaps on behalf of the men who are actually doing it right.
So for the men who aren’t wondering hopelessly and are using Tinder the right way, then power to you. But for the rest… being a gentleman isn’t rocket science so for your own good and/or extreme levels of sexual frustration, take the advice you’ve read in this article.
THESOUNDMAGNETIC 